6 Reasons Girls Are Pros At Facebook Stalking
Facebook has taken over the world. Seriously. If you aren’t on Facebook, you are considered the weird one. I just want to know when it became socially acceptable to update your entire life online without anyone questioning the motive behind it. What if the government is using all of my tagged pictures as a way to blackmail me for all the money I have in the bank?
Well, the joke is on the government because I’m a poor college graduate. Anyway, back to Facebook. We have all become great at stalking our friends, relatives, and our favorite celebrities. But let’s be honest. The main reason for Facebook is to creep on our ex’s and/or potential mates. You know what I’m talking about. Don’t deny it. Here are 6 specific reasons why girls Facebook stalk in the first place.
1. To check out the guy you like
One of the great things about Facebook is you can cut out the middle man when it comes to dating. You think that guy you met is cute? You will inevitably creep on his Facebook page to see if he’s totally lame or if he’s actually pretty cool. You don’t have to sit through an entire meal with this kid unless his pictures show that he plays guitar with kittens by his side and volunteers at an old folks’ home on the weekends. And yes, you know you go through every single one of his photos, ladies. Don’t play coy.
2. To see the girl he dated before you
Ah, the inevitable “ex.” She is probably hideous and super boring. Or at least you tell yourself that. Then you stalk her on Facebook and you come to find out she just won a Nobel Peace Prize or something. Oh, and she’s gorgeous. Awesome.
3. To check up on your ex
Because after you break up, it’s the only way you can make sure he’s still a loser and hasn’t transformed into a total hottie right after you ended things with him. And if he did get all of his issues sorted out that he just couldn’t seem to get a hold on while you were dating, then you click “unfriend.”
4. To see who he’s currently dating
You know that your ex is dating someone. So naturally, it’s time to stalk her on Facebook. This goes back to #2. You will tell yourself that she’s ugly and boring. Sometimes, you get really lucky and she’s really not photogenic. Like at all. That’s the jackpot, girls. And it only happens once in a blue moon.
5. To update your profile picture that highlights your best features so that your ex sees it
Just because you “unfriended” your ex, doesn’t mean he can’t still see your profile picture. You know he stalks you, too. Boys, don’t try to deny it. You want to know if we lost that 10 pounds we put on during the relationship. Newsflash: we did. And it’s written all over our awesome new profile picture.
6. To make sure that one girl stops “liking” your boyfriend’s pictures
There’s always that “one girl” who keeps pressing the like button every single time your boyfriend posts a picture. Um, hello, he’s not going to “like” you just because you “like” his Facebook page. Just stop.